Does Your Teen Spend Too Much Time Gaming?

Recently, a mother said to me, “My son spends too much time gaming! My husband and I are at our wits end! What do I do?”  This can be a challenging situation and every family has their own level of tolerance for gaming.  I wish I could say that I didn’t feel her pain. However, as a parent of a teen, I too have faced this question.  Here are three things to consider.

First, restricting the amount of time spent gaming is always an option.  Sometimes this is not just putting Continue reading “Does Your Teen Spend Too Much Time Gaming?”

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Developing the Online You: What is Your Purpose?

Developing your online presence is an art form.  Ultimately, it is shaped by your  purpose for being online in the first place.  Are you hoping to share your experiences? Create discussions around opinions? Develop a clientele? Sell a product?  Maybe it is a mix of several of the above.  This is the first in a series of five posts designed to help you develop your online presence. Let’s start by considering what it is and why you want one?

Your online presence is how active you are on the web through personal and professional websites, blogs, Continue reading “Developing the Online You: What is Your Purpose?”

Increase Communication by Creating “Commonness” with Your Teen

Communication involves expressing your ideas and feelings, as well as accurately receiving the ideas expressed by others. But, communication is more than just the exchange of words. Originating from the Latin word “communis”, communication means to establish a sense of “commonness” through what we say, how we say it, why we say it, when we say it, as well as what we don’t say.  Marian-Webster  defines commonness as “belonging to or shared by two or more individuals or things or by all members of a group”.  As parents, we share a sense of commonness through the parent-child relationship.

Why can it be so difficult to communicate with teens? Communication is how parents and children share aspects of themselves, developing increased awareness, understanding, and closeness through the exchange Continue reading “Increase Communication by Creating “Commonness” with Your Teen”

Motivating Teens: Developing Self-Determination

青少年
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How do You Motivate Teens? Teens Need Self-Determination!


What is self-determination? When we act with self-determination, we  rely on our own “natural” or “intrinsic” tendency to behave in ways that help us to be effective.  When people are intrinsically motivated, they do things because they are personally interested or enjoy what they are doing. When someone is extrinsically motivated, they will only participate in something because they believe they will get some sort of  external incentive or reward.

Why is self-determination important for teens? Parents, educators, or other professionals living or working Continue reading “Motivating Teens: Developing Self-Determination”

Waiting for Superman

Waiting for Superman

Who will lead us into the future? Our children.  In the rapidly changing age of technology, we have no choice but to compete in a global economy.  If we choose to stand still, the rest of the world will pass us by. This film brings to life several issues facing our current education system: failing schools, lagging test scores, and unqualified teachers.  Through this lens, the film sets the foundation for what our future holds. The film shares, “Among 30 developed countries, we rank 25th in math and 21st in science.” They go on to say that the United states has fallen behind in almost every category, except one. Students rank the highest in student confidence, with 72% believing they rank high in academics. What does this say to you?

Waiting for Superman is a documentary of five young people, ranging from first graders to high school students.  Each of these students is motivated to gain a good high school education and go to college, without Continue reading “Waiting for Superman”

Hope For Divorced Parents

Divorced parents can feel alienated, lost, and scared that the relationship they have with their child may slip away. It is important for parents to know that they are not alone in the range of emotions initiated as the family adjusts to the many changes they experience. Feelings of sadness and fear around losing day-to-day contact with children are coupled with frustrations around finding the adequate support and resources needed to maintain this important and treasured relationship. This may be especially true for the nonresidential father living away from their children. Not only do contemporary fathers express a strong desire to remain active in their children’s lives, research shows this involvement can protect kids from the harmful effects that have been connected to divorce. Safe, secure web communication tools can offer Continue reading “Hope For Divorced Parents”

Miss Your Children? Take Action Using Safe, Secure Web Communication Tools

Divorce is rated as one of the most stressful life experiences people encounter. Dealing with your stress is important to living a productive life and requires paying attention to your emotional needs and letting go of issues that you cannot control. When you are a parent, having less contact with your children can create an emotional void and sometimes you have little control over the amount of one-on-one contact you have with your children.

Fathers are better able to contribute to the well-being of their children when they have ongoing and consistent access to them. Since mothers are awarded primary custody of the children roughly 85% of the Continue reading “Miss Your Children? Take Action Using Safe, Secure Web Communication Tools”

Dealing With Grief and Loss After Divorce

Divorce represents the loss of a relationship and the hopes and dreams of a future together. When one experiences loss, life as it was is changed forever. While recognizing and dealing with feelings of grief and loss can be difficult and painful, experts suggest that the best way to move forward is to move through it. Researcher, Alan Wolfelt said, “We must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center.”

There is an important distinction between grieving and mourning. While grieving is what you feel on the inside, mourning is what you express outward to others. Dealing with the loss experienced from divorce involves outwardly mourning through your grief. How this happens is likely to be different for the two adults Continue reading “Dealing With Grief and Loss After Divorce”

Children of Different Ages Handle Divorce Differently

Vector image of two human figures with hands i...
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Divorce signifies both an end to the marital relationship and a change in the parent-child relationship. In additional to dealing with their own feelings around the divorce, parents develop new concerns and fears about how their children are handling the divorce. While children’s response to divorce can vary widely, researchers have uncovered some common threads that highlight the needs of children at different ages. Regardless of age, don’t expect children to deal with the divorce overnight. The effects of divorce can last more than a couple years, but improve more quickly when parents continually reinforce that they love them and when they do their best to keep children out of parental conflict.

One of the most important factors influencing how young children, 0-3 adjust to divorce is parents ability to take care of themselves. When parents’ needs are met, they are better able to recognize and attend to the Continue reading “Children of Different Ages Handle Divorce Differently”

Technology Use by Divorced Families is Virtually Inevitable

Increased availability of computers, cell phones, and other multi-media devices has created an environment where technology can be a catalyst for maintaining closer family relationships. In today’s world, the use of technology can assist families to stay connected with one another and feel informed about day-to-day activities. A recent report from the PEW Internet and American Life Project indicated married couples with children used cell phones and the Internet to say hello, chat, “check-in” with family members, coordinate schedules, and stay connected on a day-to-day basis. This report reminds us that in today’s world, the use of technology is virtually inevitable.

  • 93% of married with children households reported having a desktop or laptop computer
  • 58% reported having two or more computers
  • 37% of those with one computer had an Internet connection
  • 63% of those with two or more computers had Internet
  • 76% of adults and 84% of children 7 to 17 years of age reported using the Internet.
  • 52% of users went online with someone else at least once a week
  • 34% engaged in occasional “shared screen moments” with another family member. Shared screen moments consisted mostly of entertainment or “Hey, look at this!” experiences.
  • 53% of participants reported that the use of new technologies resulted in higher quality of communications with family members who did not live in the same household.

The good news is that parents in this study reported that using the Internet to connect to one another allowed them to be as close, or closer, with their family today as they were with their family growing Continue reading “Technology Use by Divorced Families is Virtually Inevitable”