Hope For Divorced Parents

Divorced parents can feel alienated, lost, and scared that the relationship they have with their child may slip away. It is important for parents to know that they are not alone in the range of emotions initiated as the family adjusts to the many changes they experience. Feelings of sadness and fear around losing day-to-day contact with children are coupled with frustrations around finding the adequate support and resources needed to maintain this important and treasured relationship. This may be especially true for the nonresidential father living away from their children. Not only do contemporary fathers express a strong desire to remain active in their children’s lives, research shows this involvement can protect kids from the harmful effects that have been connected to divorce. Safe, secure web communication tools can offer Continue reading “Hope For Divorced Parents”

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Miss Your Children? Take Action Using Safe, Secure Web Communication Tools

Divorce is rated as one of the most stressful life experiences people encounter. Dealing with your stress is important to living a productive life and requires paying attention to your emotional needs and letting go of issues that you cannot control. When you are a parent, having less contact with your children can create an emotional void and sometimes you have little control over the amount of one-on-one contact you have with your children.

Fathers are better able to contribute to the well-being of their children when they have ongoing and consistent access to them. Since mothers are awarded primary custody of the children roughly 85% of the Continue reading “Miss Your Children? Take Action Using Safe, Secure Web Communication Tools”

Dealing With Grief and Loss After Divorce

Divorce represents the loss of a relationship and the hopes and dreams of a future together. When one experiences loss, life as it was is changed forever. While recognizing and dealing with feelings of grief and loss can be difficult and painful, experts suggest that the best way to move forward is to move through it. Researcher, Alan Wolfelt said, “We must journey all through it, sometimes meandering the side roads, sometimes plowing directly into its raw center.”

There is an important distinction between grieving and mourning. While grieving is what you feel on the inside, mourning is what you express outward to others. Dealing with the loss experienced from divorce involves outwardly mourning through your grief. How this happens is likely to be different for the two adults Continue reading “Dealing With Grief and Loss After Divorce”

Children of Different Ages Handle Divorce Differently

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Divorce signifies both an end to the marital relationship and a change in the parent-child relationship. In additional to dealing with their own feelings around the divorce, parents develop new concerns and fears about how their children are handling the divorce. While children’s response to divorce can vary widely, researchers have uncovered some common threads that highlight the needs of children at different ages. Regardless of age, don’t expect children to deal with the divorce overnight. The effects of divorce can last more than a couple years, but improve more quickly when parents continually reinforce that they love them and when they do their best to keep children out of parental conflict.

One of the most important factors influencing how young children, 0-3 adjust to divorce is parents ability to take care of themselves. When parents’ needs are met, they are better able to recognize and attend to the Continue reading “Children of Different Ages Handle Divorce Differently”

Technology Use by Divorced Families is Virtually Inevitable

Increased availability of computers, cell phones, and other multi-media devices has created an environment where technology can be a catalyst for maintaining closer family relationships. In today’s world, the use of technology can assist families to stay connected with one another and feel informed about day-to-day activities. A recent report from the PEW Internet and American Life Project indicated married couples with children used cell phones and the Internet to say hello, chat, “check-in” with family members, coordinate schedules, and stay connected on a day-to-day basis. This report reminds us that in today’s world, the use of technology is virtually inevitable.

  • 93% of married with children households reported having a desktop or laptop computer
  • 58% reported having two or more computers
  • 37% of those with one computer had an Internet connection
  • 63% of those with two or more computers had Internet
  • 76% of adults and 84% of children 7 to 17 years of age reported using the Internet.
  • 52% of users went online with someone else at least once a week
  • 34% engaged in occasional “shared screen moments” with another family member. Shared screen moments consisted mostly of entertainment or “Hey, look at this!” experiences.
  • 53% of participants reported that the use of new technologies resulted in higher quality of communications with family members who did not live in the same household.

The good news is that parents in this study reported that using the Internet to connect to one another allowed them to be as close, or closer, with their family today as they were with their family growing Continue reading “Technology Use by Divorced Families is Virtually Inevitable”

Thoughts on Custody & Parenting Time

Divorce is a complicated series of events that can take days, months, or even years to bring to fruition and progress beyond.  For couples who have children, questions of what the marital breakdown will look like are coupled with discussions around how to share the children between two households. Many times, parents are confronted with making thoughtful and logical decisions about the custody, parenting time, and the well-being of their children in the midst of coping with personal feelings of uncertainty, pain, and loss.

While the trend is changing, mothers still obtain primary custody more than ¾ of the time.  This statistic begs the question, why aren’t fathers awarded more parenting time? There is no single answer to this question. Of course, custody should be limited or removed completely if the parent’s actions compromise the Continue reading “Thoughts on Custody & Parenting Time”